


The Defenders of the Universe Versus Hunk's Homemade Moonshine

by Sundaye



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol, Bickering, Crushes, Drinking Games, Getting Together, It was just an excuse to get drunk, Kissing, M/M, Never Have I Ever, Nonbinary Pidge | Katie Holt, POV Keith (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Questionable Experiment Parameters, Shiro and Allura also kind of make eyes at each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-01 22:03:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11495649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sundaye/pseuds/Sundaye
Summary: Hunk gets Team Voltron drunk - Keith doesn't really feel like being part of another one of Hunk's weird food experiments (or possibly revealing an embarrassing attraction to a fellow Paladin), but he's willing to do it in the name of Team Bonding.





	The Defenders of the Universe Versus Hunk's Homemade Moonshine

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't really written any Klance before, but a friend suggested it and I had a lot of fun writing this! Hope you guys like it :D.

"I did it! Guys, I DID IT!"

The sound of Hunk's excited voice over the Castle's comm, made Keith go still where he was stretching out after a gruelling session against the training bot. There was some muffled shuffling and clinking on the other end of the comm as if Hunk were readjusting his position to speak better.

"Team meeting ASAP," Hunk continued breathlessly. "That means everyone, including you Pidge! No sticking your face in your computer and ignoring me this time--this is groundbreaking and I need everyone here to witness my genius."

Keith deduced the announcement wasn't "form Voltron" urgent and refocused on easing the tightness in his shoulder.

"And don't think I forgot you, Keith!" Hunk continued. Keith tensed up slightly at hearing his name and forced himself to relax. He counted a few deep breaths before wincing again when Hunk shouted, "10 minutes!"

Keith rolled his eyes, glad he'd just finished up, and resigned himself to whatever antics Hunk (and probably Lance) had come up with this time. He remembered the last team meeting Hunk had called which eneded in all of them stuffed full of 13 different kinds of alien desserts and begging to be spared from tasting another. Keith ran a towel over his sweaty face and rubbed his stomach sympathetically. He hoped this "groundbreaking" anouncement would involve less indigestion as he headed for the showers.

When Keith made it to the lounge he noticed three things. One, Hunk had set up an odd display on the coffee table which included a sheet and several lumps hidden underneath it. Two, Pidge's face was still stuck in their computer as their fingers tapped rapidly over the keyboard. And three, Lance.

It was difficult for Keith not to notice Lance. Partly because Lance was prone to shouting something idiotic and offensive at him, and partly because Keith had started realizing _things_  about Lance. Things like the fact that Lance was undeniably gorgeous. And recognizing that your teammate was gorgeous was one thing (nobody could deny that both Shiro and Allura were, like, blessed by the gods) but not being able to stop thinking about it was another.

Keith's normally steady focus was consistently broken at the toned length of Lance's legs, or the graceful sweep of his fingers when he gestured, or the surprising breadth of his chest. More often than not Keith caught himself staring at the tanned skin of Lance's neck right below his jaw and wondering what it would feel like if he brushed his fingers across it. He realized with dread that he was doing it right now.

"Helloooooo. Castle to mullet. Come in mullet. Can. You. Hear. Meeee?"

Lance's obnoxious voice shook Keith back to realtime and he scowled to cover the light blush he could feel spreading into his cheeks. He cursed his pale skin and prayed to keep the pink from showing. Lance raised one eyebrow and smirked back at him from the armchair he was pretending not to pose in.

  
"There he is," Lance drawled out. If Keith's face was pink this time it was from anger at Lance's condescending tone. He opened his mouth to retort but Lance cut him off. "Well, Hunk, buddy, looks like the gang is finally all here so why don't you tell the class what you've cooked up?"

Everyone turned their attention to Hunk who was practically shaking out of his skin with anticipation. Keith settled onto the couch in between Shiro and Coran.

"Okay," he gushed, "So, as some of you know, I've been working with different techniques of distilling or fermenting foods from alien planets to see if I can mimic the results we get on earth. It took a lot of foraging and some tricky improvising but I finally got a trial going. I tried those berries from Meunia and that seedy kind of fruit from Solsion and not much happened but _then_  I tried the blue fruit from Ufurh and then the kernels from that stalk plant on Attoine and voila!"

Hunk tugged the sheet away with a swoosh revealing several glass jars with dubiously colored liquids inside. Keith was still trying to wrap his head around Hunk's entire speech and was finding it hard to reconcile that with what was likely to be their next taste test in front of them.

Coran was inspecting the jars with impressive exuberance, unscrewing the lids to sniff and swirl some of them before Hunk confiscated them and shooed him back to the couch.

"Fascinating!" Coran exclaimed. "Why some of these smell just like Gelaberry juice after you've left it out too long but they look a bit more like Felha--a customary drink for Prametunian banquets!"

Keith snuck a glance at Shiro to see if he was as apprehensive about whatever was in those jars as he was. Both Shiro and Allura, who was sitting on his other side, had twin expressions of concern. Allura voiced hers rather diplomatically. "So, Hunk, what are you planning to have us do with these...beverages?" She asked. The word "beverages" seemed more like a wary label than a certain definition.

"Well, Princess, the answer to that is going to be the event of the night!" Hunk explained with disturbing vagueness.

"I am not going to drink old whatever-berry juice just so you know," Pidge chipped in dryly. Their laptop was closed in front of them but their arms were crossed defiantly.

"Oh, don't worry, Pidge, I assure you these are all safe for any human--and Altean--consumption. Theoretically." Hunk whispered the last word which had Pidge crossing their arms even tighter.

"Mhm yeah, I remember you saying the same thing about the Ainian death peppers," Pidge reminded Hunk. Keith shuddered at the memory of the painfully hot peppers. The team was incapacitated for an entire day after trying just a nibble. Lance had whined the entire time that not even his Latino heritage could protect him from the lethal spiciniess. The galaxy was lucky the Galra Empire hadn't chosen that day to attack because Keith doubted a single one of them would have been capable of getting to their lions let alone piloting them.

"Well technically the Ainian _ghost_ peppers were _edible_ ," Hunk said in defense. "It just wasn't advisable to actually eat them. Besides I've learned from that and I tried all of these myself. No unexpected side effects or weird reactions so far!"

Pidge eased up a little on their disapproving frown and Keith finally had the resolve to ask what he'd been thinking since Hunk revealed the jars. "So just what exactly is this stuff in these jars?"

"Right. So, like I was saying, after trying out a bunch of different things I finally found two different foods that reacted similarly to those on Earth. First, we have the fruit from Ufurh which I fermented much like the process used to create wine from grapes. And second, the stalk plant from Attoine which I turned into a mash and added sugar to distill like moonshine," Hunk explained.

"So basically you made alien alcohol," Pidge summarized.

"Exactly!" Hunk's grin was so wide Keith wondered if it hurt.

"My man!" Lance shouted. "I knew you had it in you, buddy."

Hunk, impressively, grinned even wider. "Thanks, Lance," he replied.

Keith was still a little confused. "So, what, you want us to just get drunk?" Keith asked.

Hunk flapped his hands to wave off the idea. "No, no, this is an experiement." That got a groan from Lance who had perked up when Keith said 'drunk'. Pidge hushed him with a sharp jab of their finger.

"What's going to happen is, you guys will blindly pick one of these jars and drink it. Some of them have the Ufurh fruit wine and some of them have the moonshine. The rest are going to have the Meunian berry juice which tastes and smells similar to Earth's alcoholic drinks but actually causes none of the same effects. I'm not going to tell you which jars have what so we can gauge how each drink will affect your behavior.

"After you've finished your drink I'm going to set a timer and see the effects of each substance with the drinker. Now I'll eventually have to factor in weight and base alcohol tolerance but this is just the first trial so I'm hoping to just get some simple preliminary observations. I'm also not entirely sure how Alteans will react to drinking these so that'll be interesting," Hunk explained.

"Of course, if you aren't comfortable with this experiment that's totally ok. I figured we all deserve a break so this is also a fun way to relax and bond a little," Hunk continued.

"Wonderful!" Allura said warmly. "This does sound quite interesting. I don't mind trying your concoction if it'll help everyone's companionship."

Coran nodded in agreement. "Yes, I think this'll be a great team exercise! Prametunian banquets are well-known for starting lifelong friendships and solidifying alliances."

"If you've already tested these drinks and they're not poisonous I don't see the harm in participating," Shiro said. He was smiling that reassuring leader smile that had Keith warming up to the idea. Shiro caught his eye and tilted his head questioningly. Keith sighed.

"Alright, I'll try your weird drink," He conceded. "As long as it doesn't turn me purple or make my skin fall off or anything."

Hunk was bouncing with excitement again. "Pidge? Lance?"

"Oh you know I'm in to get tipsy with the team. Time for Party Lance to take the reigns!" Lance whooped pumping his fist in the air. Keith found himself rolling his eyes on instinct.

"Great," Keith muttered as sarcastically as he could.

"What, you got a problem? You're about to be totally out-partied by Party Lance! I know you're scared of losing to me all the time but it won't help if you keep that stick up your mullet," Lance crowed.

"Okay, okay guys chill. We haven't even started yet," Pidge cut in. "I don't mind joining in, Hunk, as long as Party Lance keeps it in his pants."

"Ha! You wish you had a chance with Party Lance, shortstack!"

Hunk shushed Lance before speaking again. "We'll start with Coran, then. Wait til everyone has one before drinking."

Coran got up and picked up one of the jars. He sniffed it loudly, looking eager to start drinking. Keith figured he was next to choose since he was sitting next to Coran but he waited for Hunk to nod at him before getting up.

  
Keith looked at the jars on the table and tried to reason out which ones might be less potent. Coran had chosen one of the jars containing a deep red liquid. Darker seemed like it might be stronger so Keith went for one of the jars with almost completely transparent contents. Unfortunately, the intense smell of the fumes coming from the jar almost knocked Keith out where he stood and he sat down hurriedly.

As Shiro got up to choose, Keith worked to calm himself over the potential disaster he was about to consume. _Hunk already said the non-alcoholic one was like the others. They probably all smell this strong. Doesn't mean it's actually stronger_ , He thought.

Shiro sat down with his bluish drink and smiled at Allura as she got up and chose the same one. Ugh, those two were so obvious sometimes. Keith wondered if Shiro and Allura tried to reason that they were so sickeningly in sync because they were both trying to be good leaders or if they inwardly admitted to having feelings for the other.

Speaking of feelings, it was Lance's turn to pick and he was making a show of which one of the two remaining jars he would choose. Keith tried to control his gaze as Lance bent down to get a better look. It was a hard-won accomplishment but he avoided staring at Lance's ass and instead focused on Hunk as he scribbled something onto a clipboard.

Lance sniffed both jars and Keith was vindictively satisfied when he gagged afterwards. After a minute of Lance attempting to test some sort of weight difference between the two jars by lifting each one and setting it down periodically, Hunk cleared his throat to keep things moving. "Quickly, Lance, it's supposed to be a blind test, remember?" He prompted gently.

Lance huffed and said, "Fine then." He picked up the jar with the clear liquid like Keith's and shot him a slanted look. "I'll choose this one so I can prove that I can handle it better than Keith."

Hunk looked like he barely resisted rolling his eyes. Behind Lance's back, Pidge didn't bother keeping the annoyance off their face and they got up to grab the last jar. "Looks like this one's mine."

"Okay, everyone's got their drink! I'll set the ticker aaaaaaand go!" Hunk cut his arm down in front of him as if signalling the start of a race and everyone uncapped their jars and tipped them back. After the first swallow everyone sputtered. Whatever was in Keith's jar burned his throat even if a slight sweetness cut the bitterness of his drink. He felt his eyes water and noticed everyone else in a similar state through the tears. He blinked until his vision was clear again.

"Just a word of caution," Hunk said as they recovered. "Try not to chug it all in one go or you might get sick. But you do have to finish before we hit 3600 ticks so try to keep drinking consistently. I've got a series of games to get you there and some tasks after you're done to test your mobility and mental capability at that point."

"Drinking games! Wait I've got this. Are we playing Cheers to the Admiral? Or how about Captain's Cup? Down Rabbit, Up Rabbit? Thumbs?" Lance was talking quickly and Keith was half-convinced it was all baloney.

Coran piped up with a few Altean games which sounded even more nonsensical to Keith. He took another searing gulp of his drink.

"We're just gonna start easy and play Never Have I Ever," Hunk said over the continuing lists of drinking games Keith was pretty sure Coran and Lance were making up on the spot. The two quieted so Hunk could explain the game.

"Everyone puts up five fingers and we go around and each say one thing we've never done. For example, never have I ever fallen off of a moving speeder. And if you have done it, you put one of your fingers down and take a drink. The game's over when someone's fingers are all down and they lose."

Keith and Pidge both laughed at the reference to Lance's embarrassing speeder crash last week but Shiro, Allura, and Coran had the grace to just look amused.

"Hey, that was a reasonable accident. _Someone_ was distracting me and I just so happened to slip a little!" Lance interjected.

"I wasn't distracting you! I was just flying normally. But you wouldn't know much about that would you, cargo pilot?" Keith spat back.

"You--just wait til we get to Hen in the Foxhole I am going to beat your ass so hard you'll be going, 'Oh no Lance don't pull a Turkey on me my stupid mullet can't handle getting wrekt for the fifth time!'" Lance said back.

"What does that even mean?!" Keith shouted.

"This will also be great for the whole bonding thing," Hunk said wryly. "Just, uh, try and keep in mind how much you really want to know about everyone when it's your turn." He was looking specifically at Lance when he said that.

Lance gave a crooked grin and said, "No worries," which reassured nobody.

"Anyway," Hunk said after an awkward second of silence. "Why don't we all sit in a circle on the floor to make this easier."

"Oh, yes!" Allura said happily. She quickly sat on the floor in front of the couch and, after moving the coffee table out of the way, everyone joined her. Of course Lance positioned himself so he could glare directly into Keith's eyes, and of course Keith was having trouble not finding the deep blue of Lance's eyes kind of mesmerizing.

"I'll start," Pidge offered. They had their time-to-be-devious expression on and didn't look the least bit affected by their drink. Keith was starting to feel a little hot himself but he was still willing to chalk it up to nerves. And the fact that Lance was still staring at him.

"Never have I ever barged in on someone in the bathroom," Pidge said with false casualness. Lance groaned as he put a finger down. "How many times do I have to say sorry for that?" He whined.

"It doesn't matter," Pidge said as they inspected their nails. "I'll never forget. And look, everyone else understands the concept of knocking."

Lance looked at everyone's raised fingers and pouted in response. He took a drink of the clear liquid and grimaced before turning to Hunk who was rubbing his chin in consideration.

"Hmm, never have I ever been born outside of Earth," Hunk said. Both Allura and Coran put a finger down. And drank from their jars.

"Now that seeemd like it was targeting us a bit," Allura grumbled.

"All part of the game, Princess," Lance cooed at her. "Don't take it to heart. I'm sure it's hard for anyone to keep you off their minds." Which got him another hard jab of Pidge's finger.

"Ow! What are those things made of, steel?!" Lance cried out. He rubbed the sore spot and glared at Pidge who shrugged.

"Alrighty then, my turn?" Coran cut in. Hunk nodded confirmation. "Well, let's see. There's a lot I've done. And quite a few things I haven't done. How about...never have I ever ridden a wild Kalibeest in the middle of the Builian winter!"

Nobody put a finger down.

"Uh," said Lance.

"Hm, nobody? Nobody's ridden the Kalibeest? I've heard it's quite fun especially in the winter. What a shame." Coran felt the tip of his thick mustache between his fingertips and sighed. Everyone stared unsure of how to follow that up.

Thankfully, Hunk gathered his diplomatic wits and explained, "Not that that doesn't sound super fun or anything, Coran, but the point of the game is to get everyone else to put all their fingers down before you."

"Really? I thought the point was to finish your drink in a timely manner!"

"Uh well, that too, but we're also trying to knock everyone else out," Hunk tried to reason out. "Not many of us have even been to, uh, Builian? So it's probably something none of us have done. Something like, never have i ever spilled goo smoothie down my pants, would be a good one."

"Hey! Stop it with the Lance-shaming, I am feeling so attacked right now!" Lance choked out. Keith snickered as everyone recalled that unfortunate incident.

"Right, okay, got it," Coran said with an understanging nod.

Everyone settled down again and looked expectantly at Keith. He jumped, and panicked internally. He'd gotten preoccupied with the conversation and forgotten to think of something to say.

"Keith?" Shiro prompted after a moment.

"Erm," he said helpfully. His brain ran in dizzying circles as he tried to think of something to say.

"How about, never have I ever been as cool as Lance?" Lance offered pompously. Keith blushed, and blamed it entirely on the heat that was working through his blood.

"Shut it Party Lance," Pidge retorted.

"Ah, ah, ah, Pidgling. Party Lance has yet to make an appearance. You guys gotta step up your game if you want to be graced with his awesome presence."

"I'll step on you if you don't start acting less obnoxious," Pidge said.

"That's only if you can reach that high, babe," Lance said in return which earned him yet another jab.

Keith's brain finally formed a coherent sentence and he blurted out, "Never have I ever gotten drunk!"

"What?!" Lance exclaimed. "Really? Mr. I'm so cool and everyone thinks I'm so interesting and popular has never even gotten drunk before? No shit!"

"Lance," Shiro warned.

Keith scowled at Lance's cocky face. "Unlike you, I don't spend all my time goofing off. And alcohol makes your tactical skills and physical abilities weaker." Keith got more frustrated when Lance hooted out an annoying laugh instead of getting as embarrassed as Keith felt. Especially when he tossed his head back for it and Keith's brain got stuck staring at that neck again.

"Whatever gets you through the lonely nights, mullet," Lance said. He lifted his hand and put a second finger down with flourish. When he tilted his jar back and swallowed while maintaining eye contact Keith lost himself for a second. Keith tried not to notice that everyone else had also taken a drink.

  
"Your turn, Shiro," Keith said, deflecting the attention away from himself.

"Never have I ever gotten caught sneaking out of the Garrison," Shiro offered with a small smirk. Predictably, Lance, and Pidge groaned and took a drink.

Hunk also put a finger down and muttered, "100% Lance's fault," which made sense to everyone in the room except Lance who tried ineffectively to defend himself.

Keith used Lance's dramatic storytelling to cover his own admittance to getting caught sneaking out of the Garrison and took a drink. The liquid burned just as much as the first two times and he had to draw on all of his self control not to cough in response.

Keith hoped nobody noticed his own finger had gone down but he wasn't so lucky. In fact, judging by Shiro's sly smile, he realized he'd actually been the target of the comment.

"Evanski was practically spitting fire when you came back covered in sand and a busted speeder," Shiro said. He was failing at keeping a serious expression.

"Shut up, Shiro," Keith tried to whine but he couldn't hide his grin. He shoved Shiro's shoulder playfully which jostled a laugh out of the older man. "I still can't feel my hands sometimes from all the dishwashing I had to do after he caught me."

"Wait hold up--" Lance barged in. Keith's face fell. Uh oh.

"Are you telling me the prodigal son of fighter class, king of wannabe ninjas, actually got caught sneaking out of the Garrison?" Lance asked.

"You're one to talk," Keith shot back.

"Well, yeah, I mean my very presence is like a beacon to all beauty-starved saps and degenerate souls. It's almost impossible for me to go anywhere without someone stopping and bowing to my glory!"

"More like your presence is a beacon for my fist hitting your face, jerkbag," Keith cut back.

"Oh you wanna go? You wanna go? I'll show you, 80's Hairband wannabe!"

"Fine! Let's do this!"

"Alright, guys, let's settle down now," Allura interrupted. Her voice was kind but the natural command she held had the two shutting up without complaint. Keith settled for a heated glare which he directed at the middle of Lance's nose so he wouldn't get distracted by his blue eyes again.

Allura had yet to put another finger down but her half-empty jar proved she wasn't holding back from drinking with the rest of them. She took another sip as she considered what to say for her turn. Keith was impressed that her expression didn't give away the slightest disgust at the taste. Maybe the effects of the blue drink were already showing and she could barely taste anything at all. Or maybe Alteans were just used to gross flavors.

"Oh!" she said. "Got it. Never have I ever accidentally been part of the Leirusian mating dance!"

All of the Paladins put a finger down and took a drink. That particular celebration had been embarrassing for everyone. Particularly Keith who never had the chance to dance much before and couldn't have been clumsier if he actually had two left feet.

"At least none of us ended up mating with the Leirusian we'd been partnered with," Shiro voiced for the group. They all nodded solemnly recalling the slimy skin of the large species. They were a nice people, but Keith was glad the dance was a bust.

"I've never seen Lance turn anyone down that fast," Pidge quipped.

"Pidge," Lance said seriously. "They had five pairs of legs. Five. What was I gonna do with all that?"

"I'm sure you don't know what to do with one," Pidge replied with a smirk.

"You little--"

"At least we got a look into their culture," Allura said, neatly heading Lance's likely rant off. "I've never seen a dance that involved so much tree sap in my travels."

"Yes, their use of the Leirusian palm was quite interesting. To think they actually use the entirety of the plant for the ritual! What efficiency," Coran added.

"I'm sure it all looked fun to you two," Keith said bitterly. "You didn't have to avoid stepping on ten feet all at once."

Hunk laughed. "You did great, Keith. I'm sure your partner was grateful to get away with just one bruised toe judging by the way you glared threateningly at them the whole night."

"I was trying to concentrate on not bruising any," Keith grumbled.

"And you tried your best, you really did," Hunk said.

"Tree sap and feet aside, it's finally yours truly's turn," Lance butt in. He held his jar up and swirled it like some sort of villain with a martini glass. He tilted his chin up and stared down his nose at Keith. Keith did not find the angle at all attractive and most certainly didn't notice the cut of Lance's jawline as he grinned evilly. Instead he stared defiantly back at Lance and readied himself for whatever embarrassing thing was about to be dredged up from his past.

Lance drew the moment out as long as he could with his annoying habit of talking too much.

"You guys aren't taking full advantage of the situation at hand," Lance said. "Think of all the possibilities--the things you can find out about your fellow Paladins. And of course the Princess and Coran. Does any one of you weirdos have a secret kink? An embarrassing habit? A story so hidden you'll never let us know otherwise? What question should I pose? What haven't I done? What could one of you possibly be hiding?"

Lance paused to sweep a look around at all of them and Keith felt his eye twitch. Lance took a deep breath and Keith realized he was leaning in to hear what he was going to say. He made himself sit back and look casual. Lance continued his preamble with a dramatic exhale.

"What are any of us, really? The things we've done and seen...the places we've been. The thin--"

"Lance!" Hunk cried out desperately. "Any day now, the ticker's not gonna wait all evening!"

Lance cleared his throat. "Ahem, right. So, never have I ever had a mullet."

"Argh!" Keith shouted. "Of all the stupid--you took that long and--ugh! It's not a mullet!"

"Is too."

"Is not!"

"Is too."

"It's NOT."

"Too."

"NOT."

"It IS, mullet-boy! So pay the piper and drink up!"

"Please, Keith, for the love of just drink so we can shut him up," Pidge groaned, face in their hand.

Keith mustered up his most belligerent expression and took a long swig. He didn't even flinch at the feeling of the fire going down the back of this throat. He held his hand as close to Lance's face as he could and put his finger down. Surprisingly, so did Coran.

"Now that is something I need to see with photographic evidence," Hunk said, squinting at Coran's hair.

"I used to have a hairstyle much like Keith's in my younger years," Coran explained after a quick drink from his jar. "It was very popular 10,000 years ago during the Korlun Era. Korlun was a famous Yarhuf player and perhaps the hottest bachelor for many years! It was quite a snazzy look. A moderate style in the front and some flair for the back." Coran swept a hand through his hair to demonstrate.

"Alas I grew out of it when I joined King Alfor's forces," Coran said into his jar with a sigh.

  
"No effing way. You hear that, Keith? Your hairstyle is 10,000 years out of style," Lance remarked gleefully.

"Shut up, Lance," Keith bit out. He could feel himself starting to sweat and his irritation was not helping. The room was getting a bit wobbly and he had to focus to steady it.

"I'm just saying, Keithy-boy, you're no Korlun and the look is past its prime for both Earthlings and Alteans. It's probably a sign for some sort of change."

"Pidge please make him shut up," Keith pleaded.

"No problem," Pidge said. "This'll be easy. Lance only has one finger to go before he's out."

"What! Hey no fair. No targeting the vulnerable," Lance protested. He was swaying slightly and Keith knew it wasn't just because most of the room was swaying a little under his gaze.

"Why not? It's just too tempting."

"Because we're friends?" Lance offered.

Pidge pretended to consider that point. "Hmmmmm no. Never have I ever left my sister at the supermarket."

"Traitor!" Lance huffed out. He took a long drink and Keith watched Lance's Adam's apple bob in that elegant throat. Keith needed to take a drink to force his thoughts away from that slippery slope. It wasn't hard to direct them to the painful gulp instead.

"Lance is out does that mean the game's over?" Allura asked. Her jar was almost completely empty but she looked completely composed. Shiro's was half gone and it was only thanks to years of knowing him that Keith could tell it was starting to get to him. His eyes had a slightly glazed look and he was trying very hard to seem like he was concentrating on what the princess was saying.

"We could go a few rounds until everyone is out but I think it's time to change games," Hunk said. "I'm kind of afraid of what Lance will say if we keep going. Some things are better left unknown." He exchanged a knowing look with Pidge.

"Oh you guys are no fun. You're supposed to find out your friends' deviant pasts with this game," Lance pouted.

Pidge snorted. "Yeah well we're not the ones who wasted our turn commenting on Keith's hairstyle."

"Worth it."

"What kind of game do you have for us next?" Coran inquired.

"I was thinking--"

"Spin the bottle!" Lance bellowed suddenly. He almost fell over himself in his enthusiasm. He shot a very pointed look in Allura's direction which had Keith bristling.

"We're not playing some stupid kissing game just because you can't think with anything but your dick," Keith snarled.

"What, is baby Keith afraid of some kissing?"

Keith knew his drink wasn't one of the duds by the way his entire body seemed to buzz in response. His dark eyebrows shot down furiously and he balled his fists.

"I'm not afraid! I just don't want to see you sucking face with someone!" Keith stomped out the small part of him that admitted he'd rather be on the other end of the face-sucking. Lance scoffed.

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much," Lance said with an annoying wave of his hand.

"Methinks you're full of crap and I'd rather not have to kiss anyone in this room!" Keith mocked back.

"Oh yeah? Prove it!" Lance shouted. It was such an obvious, simple-minded provocation but Keith was finding it hard to control his natural impulse to pick fights so he just went, "Fine!"

Keith set his drink down and shot forward and snatched the front of Lance's shirt before his brain could catch up with him. Lance's face turned bright red and he had a chance to splutter, "What are you--" before Keith pressed his lips violently to Lance's.

The room became dead quiet. Keith couldn't hear anything through the rush in his ears. The warning sirens in his head finally hit him and he let go of Lance as if the fabric of his shirt was on fire. He shoved Lance back and sat down with a mortified thud. Hunk was scribbling furiously on his clipboard.

"Uh," Pidge finally said in the silence. The sound seemed to wake Lance from whatever trance he'd gone into and he came up screaming.

"I didn't mean kiss me, you idiot! You seriously--you--haven't you ever played spin the bottle before?! You spin the bottle and then you kiss the person! You don't just kiss them suddenly like a freak!"

Keith was too far in to be embarrassed now. "I don't--I don't know! _You're_ the one who wanted me to kiss someone so I kissed someone. Don't start whining about it now!"

"Not _me_! I didn't say, oh Keith, pal, I've got a great idea! Why don't you scooch on over here and plant one on these fabulous lips! There was no need for scooching! I didn't want any scooching!"

Everyone else in the room was watching them with wide eyes, too startled to figure out how to respond.

"Well you got 'scooching'! I can't help it if you can't deal with the consequences of your own challenge, Lance!"

Lance made a frustrated noise and pulled at the roots of his chestnut hair.

"You're. Not. Getting. The. Point!"

"Oh, I'm getting the point. I'm getting the point that you're too much of a coward to handle one little kiss," Keith leered.

"What--oh you're on!" Lance roared. And suddenly Keith's shirt was in Lance's fist and they were kissing again.

This kiss was just as violent as the first one, mostly just a hard press of their closed mouths, but Keith's brain was moving much faster this time. _Fuck, fuck, fuck,_ it helpfully provided.

Lance pulled back for a second and they both glared heatedly into the other's eyes. Keith could make out the light freckles across Lance's nose and the dark rim of his cobalt irises around his dilated pupils. No force in the universe was strong enough to keep Keith from peeking down at Lance's lips which had just been on his own. He was having trouble with that fact even though he could still feel them in the way his lips throbbed and his pulse beat heavily under his skin. He barely realized Lance was licking his lips before Keith leaned in and was kissing him again.

This time their lips came together slowly. Like they were trying to take the time to savor each others' taste. Keith couldn't tell whose breath he was feeling against his skin when they pulled back to tilt their heads to a better angle. Keith felt one of Lance's hands come up and tangle in the longer hair at the back of his neck. His fingers were made of liquor, they burned Keith's skin and left him feeling dizzy. Keith was cupping the side of Lance's face with his own hands, pulling him in as Lance sucked lightly on Keith's lower lip. Keith bit back gently in response and the small shiver in Lance's breath that elicited made Keith groan. Just when Lance had gotten bold enough to trace the tip of his tongue over the crease in Keith's lips, a throat cleared loudly.

Keith's heart leapt so hard against his sternum he could swear it burst right there in his chest. Keith and Lance jumped away from each other as if caught on two sides of an electric fence and sat down hard. Keith couldn't believe what an idiot he was, giving in to the attraction that had slowly been building up inside him. His face burned and he couldn't bring himself to look at anyone.

"Sorry to interrupt but we're definitely not playing spin the bottle, so, uh, no need to, uh, argue over it," Hunk said. His voice was a little tight like he was trying not to be awkward and failing at it.

"Especially if Lance plans on shoving his tongue down everyone's throat like that," Pidge complained.

"Oh, please, Pidgey, you'd only be so lucky. Ask our resident mullet over there, I am an excellent kisser. And I'll prove it to anyone that questions me!"

Keith felt both relieved and disappointed at the juvenile response. Right. That was just Lance being his usual competitive self. There was nothing deeper to it. Keith had challenged Lance's fragile ego and Lance had kissed him to disprove him in retaliation. It was just their usual "rivalry" at work. Keith collected himself and took another sip of his drink.

"I wouldn't say excellent," Keith said after the tension left his shoulders.

"Please, you were all over me," Lance said smugly.

Keith slanted a look at Lance and raised an eyebrow. "You sure that wasn't your Leirusian dance partner? I seem to remember the two of you getting _very_ close during the mating dance."

"Ugh, no, I was trying to politely decline,"Lance told him with a shudder.

"I didn't know 'politely declining' meant groping someone's ass," Keith reminded him.

"I didn't know it was their ass! Five pairs of legs, Keith! Five!"

"If you can't figure out where someone's ass is I'm a little concerned about your supposed 'skills'."

"I can't help it if I don't know every single alien's physiology!"

"Not for lack of trying, surely."

"You know what? You're really someth--"

"Boys, please," Allura reprimanded. They instinctively fell silent. She waited a moment to make sure they weren't going to start fighting again and turned to Hunk. "You were saying, Hunk?"

  
"Ahem, well our time is kind of running out so I was thinking we'd play a simpler game and then move on to the tasks I have planned," Hunk said. He brought out a deck of cards and set them down on the floor in front of him.

"These are kind of like playing cards on Earth with a few distinctions. There are 50 cards to a deck with one to ten dots on each one in five suites. The point of the game is to guess whether the number i pull from the top of the deck is above or below five. If you're correct, you don't have to drink. If you're wrong, you do. We'll go around the circle and take turns guessing. I'll be dealer," Hunk explained. Everyone nodded to show they understood, although Keith's brain was still slow to process everything anyone said.

"Starting at Pidge again and going the other way around," Hunk said.

"Pidge, above or below?" Hunk asked. Pidge looked as cool as ever and shrugged.

"Below," they said. Hunk flipped the card and revealed eight dots on the other side. Pidge took a drink.

"Lance, above or below?"

The game went on without any bumps until every jar was empty. The entire time, half of Keith's mind was on the game and the other was replaying the kiss from before again and again.

Keith had kissed a few people before. He was always interested in pushing his physical limits and understanding the capability of the human body. Those experiences had been enlightening but nothing more than data collection. They didn't haunt his thoughts incessantly afterwards. Keith wondered if the effects of space alcohol had something to do with it, but he couldn't deny it was more likely he was genuinely attracted to Lance and had been waiting to kiss him for a while.

Keith stared through the bottom of his empty jar at the distorted view below. The world swam around him. He was pretty fucked.

"Keith? Keith, you with me?" Shiro was asking. Keith slowly shook himself out of his sulking and looked up at a slightly blurred Shiro.

"Shiro?" He asked. His voice sounded kind of like it was ten miles away.

"You okay?" a blurry Shiro asked him.

"What?" Keith squinted at Shiro to see if he'd come back into focus.

"Hunk's starting the mobility challenges, you okay to participate?"

"'Course," Keith said with certainty, only it came out slightly slurred. When had he lost control of his tongue? He stood up to prove the slurring was just a slight effect of drinking and stumbled as everything tipped around him.

"Shit," Keith mumbled as Shiro caught him around the waist.

"It's ok, Keith. Why don't you go ahead and sit back down. I'll grab you a glass of water and you can relax while we finish these tasks." Shiro levered Keith down delicately on the couch.

"Be right back," Shiro assured him.

Something warm settled in next to him and Keith looked up to see Hunk doing the same thing with a barely conscious Lance. Hunk was saying something along the lines of, "Guess we know how effective that one is," but Keith found it incredibly hard to figure out what it meant.

"Hey there," Lance said with difficulty as he leaned back onto the plush couch cushions.

Keith couldn't respond because he was busy staring at Lance's collarbone where the neck of his shirt had gone askew. Lance didn't seem to mind the lack of response as he was too busy staring at his hands in front of him and occasionally winking.

An idea popped up in Keith's head and he said it without thinking to filter it out.

"Lance," He said. Lance laboriously dragged his eyes to meet Keith's.

"Kiss me again," Keith demanded. The conviction he was intending to put behind the words was dulled slightly by the fact that his voice was now slurring heavily.

"Hm?" Lance said. His eyelids were drooping and he was smiling dopily. "Didn't get enough of me earlier, huh?" It was an infuriating response but Keith couldn't find it in himself to get pissed off. He was too distracted by the graceful line of Lance's nose and the curve of his lips.

Keith stared at Lance for what seemed like life cycles, eons, the time it took for the universe to be born and die and revive and reach this moment again. Lance must have found something interesting about Keith's face because he stared back for the same amount of time.

"Lance," Keith finally found the energy to say. "Kiss me again." He reached up to touch the side of Lance's face and draw his fingers down until they grazed the soft skin of Lance's neck. His heartbeat picked up. He licked his lips and leaned in.

Suddenly Keith was opening his eyes and a headache was beating the hell out of him. The brightness of the room seemed to set the headache on fire and hand it a nail-studded bat.

"Fuck," he ground out. He pressed the heels of his hands over his eyes as if the pressure was needed to keep them from liquefying and running out of his head.

Something shifted next to him with a muffled grumbling and Keith realized he was lying on the couch with a blanket over him. He was lying on the couch with Lance and there was a blanket over them. Keith sat up quickly.

It was a huge mistake. His gut churned and his head throbbed and soon he was hurling into a bucket strategically placed at the foot of the couch.

"What the fuck," he said through the fire in his throat. He wiped the back of his hand viciously across his mouth.

Lance mumbled out something in Spanish which the Castle translated into, "Ugh, shut up, I'm trying to sleep here."

"Oh my god, I'm dead aren't I. What the fuck is happening?" Keith complained. His head was between his knees and he was trying to breathe in deeply to fight his nausea back down.

"Jus' hungover," Lance yawned. "Calm down, Keith."

  
Lance's eyes snapped open. He seemed to go through the same pain Keith had and recoiled violently from the light. He stayed in the fetal position until he recovered somewhat before crying out, "Keith?!"

The noise hurt as much as the light. Keith gave Lance a poisonous look from under the shade of his hand and snapped, "Oh my god, Lance, can you keep it down or something?" He was _not_ going to admit how much his head was killing him.

"What are you doing in my room?" Lance shouted, ignoring Keith's request. Keith closed his eyes and rubbed his fingers over his temples.

"We're not in your room, bonehead. We fell asleep on the couch. Fuck, what was _in_ that drink Hunk gave us. I feel like windshield splatter. My head is _killing_ me." Shit.

"Welcome to your first hangover, rookie." How Lance managed to appear so smug when curled up in a shuddering ball of pathetic, Keith would never know. He sighed loudly and went back to massaging the pain out of his head.

"I am never going to do that again," Keith said. "This is not conducive to productivity. And if the Galra attack now we're going to be practically useless. This is the death peppers all over again."

"Nothing beats the death peppers, man. Nothing," Lance argued. His moan of pain a second later did nothing to convince Keith.

"Hey wait a minute," Lance said after a minute of the two sitting in mutual agonized silence. He sat up slowly and got deathly still. "What's that?"

"You have eyes Lance. Why don't you use them for once," Keith replied, still rubbing his temples. He felt Lance's breath on the side of his neck as he leaned in.

"Dude what are you doing?" Keith groused. He put a hand out to shove Lance away but Lance intercepted and swatted it aside.

"Oh my god, Keith, you have a hickey."

"What?!" Keith squeaked. The events of the night before rapidly shuffled through his memory. Him and Lance being herded to the couch. Shiro handing him a glass of water and leaving the two alone. Him asking Lance to kiss him. Oh gods, he had asked Lance to kiss him. And Lance had actually done it. What had he been thinking? Lance was still babbling as Keith suffered through his internal meltdown.

"An honest-to-god hickey. Looks like someone got lucky last night. Wait--that means it was someone in the castle. Who was it? Oh my god, don't tell me. You and Cora--"

"Ew what the fuck, Lance, are you kidding me?"

"Nope, there it is. Bright as a Pauyaman sun. Hick-ey." Lance poked the spot on Keith's neck to emphasize his point. Keith slapped his hand away.

"No, I mean, you don't remember what happened last night?"

Lance rolled his eyes. "I remember Shiro losing epically against Allura in an arm wrestling contest. And Coran doing an elaborate handstand. And--hold up."

Lance was squinting at Keith as if he'd just found another nose sprouting from his face. It took him a full 20 seconds before the memory he was seeking clicked into place. Lance jumped back with a dramatic gasp and threw his hands over his mouth like a woman on a soap opera realizing she'd married her dead sister's muderer.

A stream of hysterical Spanish spilled out of Lance too fast for the Castle's translator to keep up.

"You seductress!" Lance wailed at the end of it. Keith's face burned with shame.

"Me?! I'm not the one who can't keep his hickeys to himself!" Keith spat back.

It was at that moment that Shiro walked in with a cup of steaming green goo and a huge yawn. He froze as he noticed Lance and Keith yelling at each other and slowly retreated towards the dining area.

"Great, now Shiro knows!" Keith yelled, throwing his hands up.

"Safe to say everyone does," Pidge interjected. Keith jumped and turned to see them standing in the doorway with Rover floating quietly above their head. "You guys weren't exactly subtle."

Hunk stepped into view rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "Yeah it was kind of right there. In front of everyone," He said.

Keith felt the blood rush to his face. He put it in his hands. _When I look up this will all be a terrible, terrible nightmare_ , he tried to convince himself. _Sure, you wanted to kiss Lance. We can admit that now. But it doesn't mean you actually did it in front of the. entire. team._  
  
Lance interrupted Keith's attempt at delusion by saying, "My life is over. This is who I am now. All I can do now is grow a mullet and live in some desert hovel until aliens find me and pick me for experimentation. Goodbye Party Lance. Goodbye sick reputation."

Pidge walked over to Lance and swatted the back of his head to stop his rambling. "Your life isn't over dingus. Don't try and pretend you haven't been waiting for Keith to notice you and swap spit since our days at the Garrison."

Keith's heart stuttered. What?

"Excuse you--you're completely wrong. Keith is my _rival_. My _rival_ , okay? I wouldn't touch him with a 30 foot pole unless it was with my fist hitting his face!"

Pidge rolled their eyes. "Yeah, _that's_ why you always used to stare at him."

Hunk patted Lance on the shoulder comfortingly. "Sorry, bud, we've known about your colossal crush since before you did. At least Keith has a crush on you, too."

It was Keith's turn to deflect, "What are you--what do you--no way! Ha! Lance? No. I don't have a _crush_ on Lance. You're--he's--that's ridiculous."

This time Hunk patted Keith. "Sure, buddy."

Allura chose this moment to walk in with the mice pattering in around her. "Oh are we finally talking about Lance and Keith's mutual attraction? I'm so glad your experiment was successful, Hunk. It's so interesting to see how fermented juices affect the human body and behavior. These two have been pretending to dislike each other for _ages._ "

"Oh, since the first day they arrived, I'm sure!" Coran chipped in as he walked fresh into the room. Keith groaned. The first day? Had he been that transparent? Had everyone realized something about him that he hadn't even noticed himself until a few weeks ago?

"Relax, guys," Shiro said as he walked back into the room. He took a sip from his mug and smiled kindly at the mess of two boys sitting on the couch. "We're not trying to push you into anything. We just want you to be happy."

"And how do you know that last night wasn't just us being wasted losers?" Lance muttered grumpily.

"You guys were staring at each other on the couch for like an entire hour," Pidge said matter-of-factly.

"I was beginning to wonder if the moonshine had given you guys telepathic capabilities. But I couldn't get you to say anything to me so I had to give up checking," Hunk added on.

"You kept touching each other's faces and just, like, smiling. It was so gay," Pidge said.

"You two are very compatible. I haven't seen such compatible Paladins for ages once you get over your silly fights," Allura supplied.

Keith peeked over at Lance and saw that he was now looking back at him steadily.

"Really?" Keith asked softly. Lance was blushing and he looked like he was struggling with a thought. Keith understood that. He was struggling with the idea that someone as dazzling as Lance could think of Keith as attractive. Lance swallowed.

"Yeah," he said. "Really really."

Keith felt a smile break onto his face. His cheeks almost hurt. "Oh," he said.

Lance reached out hesitantly and pulled Keith's hands away from his head. He held his hands and took a deep breath. "Okay, this is happening," Lance said. "Okay." He took another breath. Keith noticed Shiro herding the others from the room out of the corner of his eye.

"I might or might not have a huge crush on you. And I might or might not want to kiss your stupid face like all the time," Lance admitted. He clenched his jaw for a second and looked hopefully at Keith. Keith had never seen such an open, earnest look on Lance's face. He liked it. A lot.

Keith felt like someone had launched a rocket inside his chest. Despite the pounding in his head. Despite the churning in his stomach, Keith had never felt better in his entire life.

"Okay? So. Say something? Come on don't leave me hanging here, I will totally deny everything and still beat your ass in speeder races," Lance said. He laughed uncomfortably and squeezed Keith's hands. "I know I'm always pulling your pigtails, or whatever, but Pidge says it's just an immature way for me to try and get your attention. Not that I'll admit it's true to them. And yeah I know you've got that whole bad boy loner thing going on but I'm seriously a catch, ok? Obviously you know I'm a great kisser, and I have some sick moves on the dance floor, not to mention my cuddling skills--"

"Lance," Keith interrupted. He pulled Lance closer. "Kiss me again."

And even though their morning breath was awful, and their lips were a little chapped, and they were both sorely hungover, this kiss was better than all the ones before.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! Hope you enjoyed reading this ^_^


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